Break the pattern and finally change the behavior.

Changing a behavior of any kind can be done.

It starts off with realizing and being aware of the fact that this behavior is indeed something you want to change.

Before the change can happen it’s important to get clarity on how and why  this behavior has evolved. 

Think to yourself, talk to a trusted person or journal-  

How far back do I remember doing this?

What does doing it do for me? What does it give me?

These questions answer the concept of the “function of the behavior” a few examples are as follows 

I am stressed, uncomfortable and want to get rid of these feelings and sugar or sweets temporarily make me feel better. 

I am scared of change and every time my partner brings up moving to a new place, I change the topic to something which is equally important that he needs to talk through (or I physically shut the conversation down and leave the room)

Do you see the pattern here, it is the concept of “running away” from sitting in or leaning into the discomfort. 

The next time something feels really uncomfortable to you and historically behavior happens consequently… slow down… like when you’re in the car and you see a speed bump- take a breath or even say to yourself, “I think something may be happening here I wonder why..” 

Get inquisitive- get curious, like you’re a detective trying to figure it all out.  

Then the speed bump comes, the discomfort, the feelings you wanted to avoid and just tell yourself, “Ok, just hold on here for a minute, stay with this, let’s ride this one out. 

Try your best to welcome those feelings of discomfort because they come up for a reason, they serve a purpose- or maybe they did serve a purpose at one point in your life but your mind needs to be retrained.  

As the uncomfortable feelings start to decrease, say to yourself, “what else can I do at this moment.”  

What other thing(s) can serve and help me? 

Then try it! 

Try different things, until one feels just as good as the old behavior. 

Change requires tons and tons of repetition. 

We need to prove to ourselves that the new way is just as good and usually better than the old way! 

Lastly, if you go back to the old behavior once or twice, be kind to yourself, change takes time and practice.